Baby Showers For Geezers
From the former Eastern Bloc nation of Czechoslavakia today we learn that a 66-year-old woman has given birth to a healthy baby girl.
Seldom in medical news does one get to say "congratulations" and "I'm so sorry to hear it" in the same breath, but this is a good time for it. The mother is in intensive care now, and that's serious. If she doesn't pull through, who's going to take care of the baby? Her 85-year-old grandmother?
These are the days when medical science is increasing in knowledge and ability by leaps and bounds. Daily discoveries are being made to improve people's chances of living longer, of surviving and triumphing over disease and disability, and of hoping for things one never could hope for. Like, I don't know-- having babies in your sixties.
How much sense does it make to do a thing like this, just because we can? I mean, sure, she has a big sister and brother in their forties who can take care of her if her mom doesn't make it out of ICU, but we shouldn't always look at the dark side of things. For good news, her mom can get an AARP discount on diapers and formula. Those velcro fasteners will be easier on her arthritis than diaper pins, and since the breast-feeding ship has pretty much sailed (and it has, you know) they'll be needing plenty of formula. Incidentally, I think that the baby formula with iron is very similar to Ensure, the elder fomula. I hope that they find a way to keep the two separated in the pantry.
After diapers, it'll be all downhill. All of her life, this little girl's primary caregiver will be on the express train to the nursing home. Can we play catch? Ring around rosey? go sledding? No, no, and no, dear...mommy might break a hip.
By the time she graduates High School, mother will be 84 years old. Her ceremonial walk across the stage may be past mom's bed-time. Maybe she can wake the old lady up to see if it's okay to stay out late, just this one time?
The rest of their lives together, if any, will be like those little pencils they give you to keep score on the golf course. Brief and pointless. No sense in her moving back in with her parents after college, and what self-respecting car dealer is going to let a 90-year-old cosign a loan?
Nope, I think the whole thing was just a bad idea, carried to extremes, and it can't end well.
next week: an end to the troubles in the Middle East, if you all just shut up and do what I say...
Seldom in medical news does one get to say "congratulations" and "I'm so sorry to hear it" in the same breath, but this is a good time for it. The mother is in intensive care now, and that's serious. If she doesn't pull through, who's going to take care of the baby? Her 85-year-old grandmother?
These are the days when medical science is increasing in knowledge and ability by leaps and bounds. Daily discoveries are being made to improve people's chances of living longer, of surviving and triumphing over disease and disability, and of hoping for things one never could hope for. Like, I don't know-- having babies in your sixties.
How much sense does it make to do a thing like this, just because we can? I mean, sure, she has a big sister and brother in their forties who can take care of her if her mom doesn't make it out of ICU, but we shouldn't always look at the dark side of things. For good news, her mom can get an AARP discount on diapers and formula. Those velcro fasteners will be easier on her arthritis than diaper pins, and since the breast-feeding ship has pretty much sailed (and it has, you know) they'll be needing plenty of formula. Incidentally, I think that the baby formula with iron is very similar to Ensure, the elder fomula. I hope that they find a way to keep the two separated in the pantry.
After diapers, it'll be all downhill. All of her life, this little girl's primary caregiver will be on the express train to the nursing home. Can we play catch? Ring around rosey? go sledding? No, no, and no, dear...mommy might break a hip.
By the time she graduates High School, mother will be 84 years old. Her ceremonial walk across the stage may be past mom's bed-time. Maybe she can wake the old lady up to see if it's okay to stay out late, just this one time?
The rest of their lives together, if any, will be like those little pencils they give you to keep score on the golf course. Brief and pointless. No sense in her moving back in with her parents after college, and what self-respecting car dealer is going to let a 90-year-old cosign a loan?
Nope, I think the whole thing was just a bad idea, carried to extremes, and it can't end well.
next week: an end to the troubles in the Middle East, if you all just shut up and do what I say...
posted by joe at 9:47 AM
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